


The Miracle of Love

by DeadlyKittenKay (PrettyBlueIz)



Series: Facebook Prompts [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, DWRQuoteChallenge, M/M, Season/Series 12 Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-21
Updated: 2017-02-21
Packaged: 2018-09-25 23:04:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9850832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrettyBlueIz/pseuds/DeadlyKittenKay
Summary: Castiel finally said the three words that ached in his chest, but in typical Castiel fashion, he leaves before he can face the consequences of his words. Will Dean forgive him this time?





	

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by [DeadlyKittenKay (PrettyBlueIz)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrettyBlueIz/pseuds/DeadlyKittenKay) in the [DestielWRFBJanuaryQuotationChallenge](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/DestielWRFBJanuaryQuotationChallenge) collection. 



> **Prompt:**
> 
>  
> 
> "There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” -- Albert Einstein

Castiel sits on the bench in the familiar park. The way the snows has fallen around him, the way lush green leaves of bushes, bright oranges yellows of the daffodils, and vibrant violets of the iris plants all contrast with the blanket of white, reminds him of a different time. A time when he was merely there to follow orders. A time where he had faced his first of many cross roads.

In another life, he came to this very spot, asking for guidance from an absent father. The creator of all of Heaven and Earth and mankind. Castiel had come to this spot to plead his case, in hopes that his father would understand as to why he  _ needed _ to betray the righteous man, why he needed to know what he was about to do was what needed to be done.

He asked for a sign, all those years ago. A sign that the angel had truly done what was needed of him. That his actions were just.

At the time he never thought that he received that sign he was looking for. He felt a tiny sense of betrayal that his father, the Lord Almighty, had abandoned him. Castiel had lost his faith. He had lost his ability to see life as the miracle God intended it to be.

Little did the angel know then, he himself was a miracle, an anomaly that many didn’t understand or feared. He never understood the actions of the majority of his brothers and sisters, often throwing his bond with the righteous man in his face. Of course he would do anything to protect the life and soul of Dean Winchester. After all, God commanded it. Had he not?

That wasn’t how the other angels had seen it though. Often times Castiel was told that he had always been a problem, always had a ‘kink in his chassis’, and always questioned orders. As true as that may have been, he was still the obedient one. The angel’s angel. However if you ask Hester, Castiel was corrupted the minute he laid a hand on Dean Winchester’s soul.

Oh how beautiful a soul it was. Even in the darkest pits of Hell, the bright light sang to Castiel’s grace, guiding him towards salvation. Even if the angel didn’t know that at the time. 

Castiel looks to his hands, remembering what it was like to rebuild Dean. To have the righteous man cling to him, thank him, weeping as the bright ice blue of Castiel’s grace spun around his soul. Soothing him, comforting him as words of Enochian passed through the angel’s lips, blessing him, promising him never ending protection.

It was a miracle upon miracles that the day Dean had risen was the day Castiel had started to fall from grace and his own heart beat only for the human.

Castiel chuckles and looks to the heavens. He didn’t know then what he knew now. Only that he would always need to be a part of Dean’s life in whatever capacity the human would let him. Because of this, he had deluded himself into situations that while were quite educational, had consequences he didn’t want to face.

The more and more Castiel rebelled against Heaven, against his family, and began to make his own choices, the more he felt a pull at his chest towards his charge. He needed to make sure Dean was safe, that he was well. He needed to be near Dean’s presence. Any separation, especially those unplanned, made the angel feel as if he couldn’t breathe. His heart would beat a sluggish painful pace. His head would throb, starting with a dull ache only to increase in intensity.

The miracle of love. For Castiel, an angel of the Lord; created to love all of God's creation, sent from the heavens to assist the Winchester’s in protecting the world - had fallen in love with Dean Winchester.

He had kept it hidden for years. Knowing that his admission of his feelings to the human would scare him. He knew that to Dean, the innuendos - and in some cases - blunt statements, were nothing more than a defense for the human. So he kept these feeling locked away inside of him. They were getting harder and harder to quell. Even more so after that night in the crypt.

Castiel let’s out a shuddering breath as he scrubs his hands over his face in a gesture similar to what he’s seen both Dean and Sam do countless times when frustrated. Memories from that night plays in the forefront of his mind. Dean on his knees before him, bloodied by his own had, refusing to fight the angel back, nearly losing his own life. Sure, Castiel was under Naomi’s stronghold, but for the angel, that wasn’t an excuse.

While Castiel couldn’t admit it at the time. Dean had broke the connection. Broken and bloodied, the righteous man looked up Castiel with pleading green eyes uttering words Castiel had no idea he needed to hear. Longed to hear.

_ I need you _ .

Those three words had been enough to snap back to himself. It was those three words that soothed the hurt inside him but lock him in fear. This was when Castiel first experienced the miracle of being in love.

Of course years have passed and Castiel still had not told the truth to Dean. Never feeling the right time to declare these feelings. Instead giving a painful smile with each instance of being called “brother”. Time and time again, Castiel would remind himself that as long as he has Dean in some capacity, whether it’s a brother or best friend, he would take it.

The sound of footfalls in the snow behind him, simultaneously making him smile and his skin feel as if it was full of an electrical charge. From the corner of his eye, Castiel see the navy blue coat sit next to him. The man’s back is facing the lake that Castiel is now staring at.

Castiel moves his head slightly, letting his eyes map out the features of the man besides him starting with his hair. The hair that was once lighter and over styled with product, is now darker with age and while still styled, it’s more natural. Castiel’s blue eyes trace along the man’s face. He’s got a tight lipped smile but it still brings out the crinkles near his moss green eyes.

“You know, Cas. Generally when someone declares their love for another, they don’t take off before something can be said.” The man glances at him. Castiel can see the worry in his eyes.

Castiel had finally admitted his true feelings for Dean when he thought he was dying. A mortal wound for an immortal being had caused the slip. He had realized his slip when Dean rolled his eyes and looked away from him. Castiel should have known better, not that he regretted it.

Castiel breaks his gaze from the questioning stare to look down at his hands. “My apologies, Dean. I didn’t think you wanted to talk to me, let alone see me after my confession.”

“I’m here aren’t I?” Castiel can only nod. From his peripheral vision, he sees Dean ready himself. A deep inhalation before expelling the air from his lungs.

“Listen, Cas. You know I don’t do this touchy feely crap.”

“Unless you’re sacrificing yourself,” he can’t help but counter. He’s relieved when Dean lets out a small chuckle.

“Yeah, there’s that.” Dean leans forward, resting his forearms on his thighs as he looks a head at the trees. “I don’t know if you said what you said because you thought you were dying or what. I do know that you’re not totally alone with that either.”

Castiel turns his head to look at him. “Dean?”

“Those words… They’re like a curse to hunters, man. Everyone we’ve ever cared about dies. The life that Sam and I live, relationships don’t work.”

“I never expected a relationship, Dean.”

Dean looked at him. A brief flash of hurt crosses his eyes but the mask falls back into place. “Well, see that’s where you’re wrong, Cas. Like it or not, we,” motions between the two of them, “have been in a relationship for a while now.”

Castiel tilts his head in confusion. “I don’t-”

“Understand,” Dean finishes. “Yeah, Cas, I know. But think about it. Since Purgatory you and I…” he sighs. “Jesus, Cas. We fight like we’re married. The thought of losing you hurts.  _ Actually _ losing you, nearly kills me. Everyone else sees it. I think I was just too scared to.”

“Dean?” Castiel asks again.

“Come home, Cas. I can’t say what you want me to but know that I feel it too. I  _ need _ you,  _ Castiel _ .”

******

Prior to that day, nearly six months ago, Castiel never realized how each day was a miracle in itself. Especially in the early mornings, like now, when he lays in bed. Dean besides him, the human’s warm flesh against his own as the freckled arm with reddish brown hair drapes itself over the angel’s stomach. Toned and muscular thighs tangled together. It’s in these precious moments where Castiel sees the truth.

“You’re being creepy,” Dean huffs into his pillow voice deep and thick with sleep as his arm tightens around Castiel.

When Castiel doesn’t respond with much more than a smile, Dean lifts his head and presses his lips to the angel’s. A soft but chaste morning ritual.

“I love you but you’re creepy,” Dean grouches flopping his head next to Castiel’s. “Let me sleep.”

Grumpy, sleep drunk Dean, was one of those miracles Castiel looks forward to each day, just to hear the hunter say, _I love you._

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to my husband for pointing out the obvious title for this when I couldn't see it.
> 
> This work was un-beta'd so please if you see any errors, let me know so that I may correct it.


End file.
